soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
