I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
