we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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