Even water is tasting like jack daniels
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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