dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
