So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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