There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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