I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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