Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
