There was a lot of him and a little penis
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
