I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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