Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
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