1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
