Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just want nice things and good sex
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Randomize
