We got so high we made milksteak
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
