Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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