Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
