The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
