I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
