She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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