Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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