Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Even my vagina gasped.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
