Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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