were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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