my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We're too hungover to prance.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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