Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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