Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize