Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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