Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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