Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
