he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
