seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
