he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
