So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
