You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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