So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
