My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
