I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
home. puking in laundry basket.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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