wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
