he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
