9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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