So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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