I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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