hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's blow job season.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
