I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
