im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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