I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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