she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
