Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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