and you said cock pushups were impossible
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize