Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
