It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
