I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
you never un-have a 4some
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
