her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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