I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
