Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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