My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
