never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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