I must be too annoying 4 u.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
