I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize