it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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