my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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